CHUCK NORRIS..continued

An apology to my readers: A while back I promised a post about Chuck Norris, and suggested there were two men who were attempting to challenge his pop cultural significance in their own D-list and imaginary internet way. I invoked the name of the Norris and then left you hanging.
I may have worried some that Norris had gotten to me, but rest assured it was just a stray arrow from Navarro.

For me, Chuck Norris was just some guy with a lot of beard. Disturbing, very red beard. I always wondered - what is he hiding? He had the suspicious bearding of a weak chinned man - but his chin appeared as large as a pickle jar. The mystery remains unsolved. To others (men) - fans of 80's action films with titles I would never be enticed by such as Strike Delta Force V (or something), Norris is known as the most badass non-Asian martial arts fighter (and I guess stage fighting, a separate skill) in Hollywood. Somehow Norris mythology has taken on a new life in the form of nostalgia-irony-satire-dv shorts (SNL's "Young Chuck Norris") and a feature of one of the most-advertised non-sexual related products for sale on the internet- t shirts invoking his name, likeness and "brand", along with a funny viral type email forward (Chuck Norris doesn't sleep - he waits) which already has it's own spin off dedicated to Jack Bauer from T.V.'s 24. This phenom is funny even if you have never seen a Chuck Norris film, as I haven't (I suffer from a condition called beard distractoma.)

With the resurgence of what Jessica Simpson's father / pimp / ex-youth minister would call "The Brand", I have to wonder, has Norris recieved a cut of these T-Shirts? I hope so - he is after all a living person, not a character, and one who is not exactly making box office records lately. Not to suggest that Norris would pimp his own name this way, I am sure he's not behind it - the man seems too earnest (the beard again) but it has to be a little strange to be one of the most talked about people on the internet and in popular media - not to mention the street- based on a joke which, though makes you sound cool /"bad"- also would make me very uncomfortable. After all, why Norris and why now? The IMDB lists two 2005 credits for Norris, suggesting that all this attention might have got him a credit or two, but there is nothing for 2006 or upcoming. A closer look tells me that Norris was producer of his presumably popular syndicated series "Walker: Texas Ranger" which tells me he may be taken care of, at least so many times richer than I that he doesn't really need my concern.

And what of the two celebrities that actively court the natural cred that Norris has maintained and cannot be easily bought? More on those later today. Can you guess?
Hint: They couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag even with the help of space age technology, and they go beardless. Also at least one of them is far richer than you would think (syndication again).

(Will at New & Used Records blogged about the Norris phenom awhile back, contributing to the stew in my head)

Chuck Norris talks to you at his offical site

Chuck Norris "facts"

Wikipedia entry for Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris