CAUGHT IN THE PAZARAZZI CROSSFIRE VOL. 1

Once in a while, when looking at yet another picture of say - Nicole Richie - as I can never give up my DListed gossip blog and so have the following daily internal conflict -(Emaciated! 85lbs say the tabs!) (leave her alone, leave her damn alone, she's just living her private life) (and why does anyone care about this person? Why do I, even for a sec?)- I am utterly distracted away from her mesmerizing bobblehead the star herself and forced to utter WTF? for a totally unrelated reason, THE BIZARRE CELEBRITY HANGER-ON.

Now, one of the reasons many many people have gotten rich, and many more have gotten mildly "internet" famous for snarking on famous or notorious celebs is due to some American law about satire and public figures. We Canadians just assume the same goes for us, because who really cares about Canadian bloggers? Ths means, if by some remote chance, this man, who could be a perfectly nice un-public person (and one whose embrace the brittle Ritchie seems very comforted in) were to read some irresponsible speculation about who he is and what they are doing printed here (all unknown skeezy people just shout dealer to me), he could probably send me a nasty letter and make me sad, or sue me before Judge Judy or something. So, sticking by the facts of this picture, we can safely assume that this man is sympatico with Nicole in the view that no sunglasses are too big, too red, or too fruity to distract from a weak chin and lank hair (two more things they share!) It's also safe to decide that any man who goes around in a "girls gone wild" tshirt is worthy of our smug superiority from the safety of the other side of our computer screens. Dude - and I am sure he would respond to that label- looks like a bad cgi of Sean Penn as Spiocoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

photo credit: http://dlisted.blogspot.com